True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
