i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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