why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
