I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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