kristin has been a bad kristin
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I have already put on my inside pants.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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