oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Randomize