Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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