What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Randomize
