I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Randomize
