she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
