I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
