I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
