There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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