I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
