garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
