I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
