now i know why i became what i already was.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I touched a dick in church today
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
