i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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