The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
