i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
