is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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