No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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