i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I stole a fireplace last night.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
