he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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