I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I deserve this hangover.
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