so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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