That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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