Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
