Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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