You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
