Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
