mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
