More tranny stories later!
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
