This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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