do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
