You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
