Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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