They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
my poor anus
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
