he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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