I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
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