So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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