handjob tips. give me some.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
