I feel great
I just peed on a car
barbara walters just said penis...
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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