its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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