singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
