Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
