We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
