He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
