new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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