I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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