I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
