I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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