Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
