kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
