So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize