dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
