what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
