She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
