Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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