hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
