I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize